Cooking a Tim Stew

You might have heart of Bob who is raising funds to be sent to Mars. With his six sheep, well I wrote about it before.

The story is like, Bob does not like Tim, one of his sheep. He wants to get rid of Tim. The good thing is, if Tim is not going to Mars, I can replace him. The ultimate journey. Will make great pictures.

Now.
Bob wants to have a real creative recipe for cooking Tim.

Since it is in my personal interest that Bob has a good recipe for cooking Tim (if he cooks Tim, I am sure to join Bob to Mars), I'll give you, Bob, some tips for making sure a dinner with Tim will be a great treat.

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So the following recipe is for Bob and Tim. You can use it at home as well, if you have a spare sheep.

Make sure you take the following with you on the spaceship (quite a lot, but hey we want to cook a whole Tim):
* Tim
* a small bucket of freshly dried garlic
* a small bucket of fresh gingerroot (or ginger-race if you prefer Brittish)
* one bucket of onions (preferable red)
* a small bush dried bay leaves (laurel)
* a bunch (two hands full) of dried chilli's (hot peppers)
* small bag of cloves
* small bag of cummin
* five cinnamon sticks
* a bag of peppercorn
* a bag of salt
* a couple of gallons olive oil and vinegar
* a real big wok
* several flowerpots with (still growing) koreander
* knives, spoons and stuff

The recipe:
* Cut Tim into tiny chops (cubicles of 1-2 inch), remove the parts you consider not edible (some folks love eyes, brains, but just the meat will do for most people) - how you do this, the struggle with Tim, the hideous (s)laughter can make a great story, but not relevant here
* Mash all of the garlic and gingerroot, make it a smooth pulp and put it in a bucket (big enough for the Tim chops as well)
* Add olive oil, a quarter of the amount of garlic
* The same with the vinegar
* Add Tim, stir real well
* Leave in a fridge overnight and stir occasionally
-- Tim is now being cooked by the mixture overnight real slowly --

-- Next day --
Cooking starts!
* Peal and slice the bucket full of onions (might want to cover the onions with water otherwise you will be crying too much for the loss of Tim)
* Chop the chilli's into tiny pieces
* Take the wok, put it on the fire and make sure it is very hot
* Add loads of olive oil (a bit more than the amount poured into the bucket the previous day)
* Make sure the oil is cooking
* Add two hands full of peppercorn, a big hand full of bay leaves, a hand full of cloves, the cummin, the five cinnamon sticks and the chopped chilli's
* Stirfry (continuous stirring otherwise it will get burned) in the hot oil untill the whole gets real fragrant (like a sweetish smell from the cloves, cinnamon and cummin) and you can't breathe anymore because and are only coughing because of the hot chilli vapours afflicting your lungs
* Add the onions and lower the fire a bit
* Stirfry untill the onions start to become a bit glazed
* Add the Tim-garlic-ginger mixture
* Stir real well so the tiny bits of Tim get sealed
* Keep on stirring occasionally and add salt to taste
* Cut the koreander stems and chop the koreander
* When Tim is done (his chops may be a bit reddish inside), add the koreander to Tim and the rest, stirfry for another 2 minutes
* Turn off the fire
* You can - if you want to - remove all of the remainders of the spices, because not everybody wants to bite on a chunk of glove, pepper, bay leave or cinnamon stick. Or you could just eat around it :-D

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Serve Tim and make a special dinner for the two of you.
You and Tim will become one (if you don't like that idea: 2 days later most of Tim will depart you).

Enjoy!